I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
