you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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