i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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