OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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