why didn't you poke me back
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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