I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
