Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
