THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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