Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
