And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Life without a bra equals bliss.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
