seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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