Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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