whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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