ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
