Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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