What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
