as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
