i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
