"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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