Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
