He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
