I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
