People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
