If i come over, it means nothing
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
