Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
