Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
