I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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