capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
