You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
