never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
