The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
