U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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