Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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