Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
