omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
