Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
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