im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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