Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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