I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
