i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
