I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
