the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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