omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
