Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
