Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
