no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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