u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
