marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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