The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
