omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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