so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
