You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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