i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
