That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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