In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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