I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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