help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
