a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
