like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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