I'm really into asian looking animals
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
