Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He did a backflip because drugs
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
