I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Small penises have feelings too.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
