She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
honey bunches of taint.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
