You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
