There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
