You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
