He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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